They say you experience a significant turning point in your life on your last year as a college student—cliché, nonetheless true. For the most part, I put in a nutshell a doctrine that is deeply rooted in faith, not scriptural rituals; prima facie evidence not assumptions; and long-term friendships not temporary acquaintances. For those people who wanted me to learn the difficult way because you care… thank you. I am gratified to have survived a military-like training I voluntarily placed myself into during the last half of last year. From delaying gratification, non-excusable workout routines to intensive commitment to academics and extracurriculars, I have learned the art of shifting mindset and the power of perseverance. All these learnings and challenges that let me step out of my comfort zone are what I needed in order to finally start the kind of life that activates the needed rationality for law and order and the emotional intelligence for sustaining relationships.
“Present yourself in your best articulation.”
Your presence is more than your aura. You should not rely just on what you look like. It is substance and style. The way you articulate yourself characterizes your overall persona. Whoever it is that you are meeting, whether in a casual or professional setting, coherence complements all appealing qualities you have. As you are in the flow of conversation or in the display of manners and gestures, sounds stilted gets the act of communication done effectively and smoothly. The way you speak and command your actions will have a strong impact on how you come across, especially on your first encounter.
“Details matter: of being an observer/listener.”
The smallest data can lead to a big conclusion. The compilation of details will get you to some important findings—those that either make it or break it. From the way you interact, to the information you give, to the things you do, the littlest details are interconnected and all part of a bigger picture. If scrutinized properly, these tidbits can be of vital information if analyzed properly.
The world would not care if your mind is more dominant than those of others if you do not have the ability to digest learnings and notice how the world revolves and not how it revolves around you. To understand and absorb narratives from others not only allow you to learn, but it also cures stubbornness and nourishes empathy. Even if we do not like what we hear, or we have instant objections to what we hear, taking the time to absorb thoughts and not interrupt would help us value understanding. The only way to fully understand someone is to listen and observe.
“Get used to questions.”
The art of questioning should never be questioned. The sole reasons for being asked are to verify data and to draw some conclusions. We can be questioned day by day with the same set of queries. As a response, we should give consistent information. Even when we are in the hot seat, we are trained to respond under pressure. Throughout every scrutiny, done toward us, we should remain calm and honest, as even the most uncomfortable questions deserve a righteous answer.
“Live up to your words.”
They say actions speak louder than words; this is justified when you commit to the words that you say. Even if it is just a simple command or a trivial promise, how you interpret your words into action would sum up your genuineness. Your ability to bring reality into your statements testifies your capability for responsibility, because every unfulfilled statement degrades another person’s trust in you. The verity of the words you dictate, or even write, will reflect on the kind of person you are, either as a word-player or a word-champion.
“Lying is fatal.”
Engaging in faux statements can be as detrimental as drowning from testing hazardous waters, so do not attempt. When we lie, we condition ourselves in a pretentious setup that exists in deceit and selfishness. We only benefit ourselves whenever we do not tell the truth. We harm the other party whenever we hide things from them, especially what is wrong and what the other party would not expect. Concealment is not just a pointless act to make, but it is also difficult and tiresome. If you happen to have the habit of lying, soon the lies will be hoarded like hungry animals and eat you back up.
“Love like you are married.”
The act of love is not just a sudden romance or a timed presentation for affection. It is a commitment—a long-term and serious relationship. When you say you love someone, you have achieved the realization that you want to be involved with this person for the rest of your life, that he or she is not just in for a temporary affair. When you love, you are simply not just in the nature of still exploring yourself, but you have already discovered who you are—you know exactly who you are and what you want. You are not under the impression of still dating the person, but you have come to think that you had sufficient information about him or her. And you are not juggling alternatives in your hands, but you have chosen one for sure and tested that one among the rest.
“Be on time.”
When we notice that seconds tick, we start to value the essence of time. We start to think that it is a gift that we should never waste, because time lost can never be recovered. No matter how much we wish for it, time-traveling can never be a reality. To be a fast-thinker and a prime mover for productivity prevents the universally acknowledged wasting of time. How you manage your time will always hit you back.
“Every penny counts.”
It is only when you start working that importance of money is consciously discerned, because you produce it with your own efforts. The job you have will alway depend on hard work, dedication and time invested; and so its outcome is treated of equivalent value. Every cent you receive in your salary is generated because of your efforts. How you realize this affects how you manage your finance, down to the littlest expenses.
“Every word you say will be taken against you.”
Every uttered word is a subject of evidence. Every statement you mention has the possibility to be considered as an assault, a threat or any form of libel. When we are not careful with our words, it reflects our educational upbringing and lack thereof. Thoughts should be carefully assessed before being translated into verbal statements. To be prepared for the consequences from our tongue means to be cautious and to think twice before we open our mouth.
“Be ready to be criticized.”
The average person can think of ideas elated to you in the span of a day. It is entirely based on how you are perceived wherein judgments are cultivated. We can never blame others, since it just what we do which they see, it is what we say which they rely on, and it is what we portray which they characterize us. We deserve to let others share to us their perspectives about us.
“We all need maturity.”
Maturity is a man’s greatest asset. If possessed well, a man will cater to all kinds of human beings and be the epitome of intellectually and emotionally developed guy—one who can get things done and one who can manage in the worst case scenarios. To be mature means more than harnessing strong work ethics. It takes time, practice and exposure to experiences in order to master the skill. Sometimes, it even requires the most traumatizing experience in order to be mature.
“Always clarify your intentions.”
We are so prone to being vague and to keep beating around the bush. If we are clear and concise in our agendas, our purposes and our motives, we save time it takes for confusion to develop; we stop non-realistic expectations from happening. From the beginning of any undertaking, clarifying the intention would be the preventive action rather than the cure.
“Keep it professional.”
No matter how personal things can get, do not forget to keep it balanced. When things come in their worst condition, remain professional and execute your conduct in terms which you will not regret: protocols where parties not involved should not be involved and actions conditioned not just as a firefighting measure but as a mirror where you can see all perspectives and cut unnecessary drama.
“Never fear arguments.”
Arguments are not quarrels. Arguments are healthy conversations that intellectual and mature beings engage in. You should never see it as a debate where the controls are as static as attack and defense. A colloquy of whatever kind is discussed to settle misunderstandings and to clarify issues. It acts as a canvas of thought generation wherein democracy is practiced and awareness is raised.
“Treat fidelity as a juridical obligation.”
The sole reason why many remain unfaithful to their romantic partners is because of the low risk of consequences it can lead to. A cheater cannot go to jail. He or she, in the severity of most cases, just gets attacks that are easily avoided, forgotten or treated as nonsense. The act of infidelity is considered normal, hence tolerated in society. But if we start treating the act of romantic loyalty and faithfulness as a high-risk case where emotional trauma is standard, then we force our brain to oblige by the “law” and be afraid of breaking such rule.
“When in trouble, know the rules.”
When we are caught in our own mistakes, we should know how to portray the code of conduct. To act impulsively will just get us further into trouble. To know such rules, like taking appropriate confidentiality, or knowing how to treat our victims or suspects to prevent further damage, will save us from all the troubles of our own troubles.
“Know early if you know late.”
An unhealthy sleeping schedule, which then becomes a habit, does not only affect your priorities and agendas in life, but also affects your stakeholders. If you know how to adjust to the world by knowing the appropriate time when everyone starts acting, then you will be able to accomplish your tasks sooner than most owls would and not end up as an unproductive hypocrite.
“Never mess with a professional.”
If you want to mess around, never do it to a professional, because he or she possesses power more than you can think of. Professionals have clever and ingenious minds that can wave to you karma and bad luck at his or her convenience. One badmouthing—and that can guarantee a case filed against you the next day. Whenever with one, be at your best self and avoid committing mistakes, especially those that are emotionally inclined.
“Prima facie evidence.”
In order to conclude something, evidence arising at first encounter or first appearance is enough fact. It is already the burden of proof. When we do actions, always consider how it can be a “first” and how it can affect further testimonies, especially in the absence of additional evidence. First basis evidence can take rulings over its proceedings, that there is enough evidence for a case to be answered.
“Res ipsa loquitur.”
When we have shown enough evidence for any verifiable conclusion, we should make more explanations. A simple explanation would not do, especially if there are obvious facts that can already conclude a statement or dismiss a case. Strive for the effort to explain more and explore further investigations. if you truly want to win your case.
“Know the art of confidentiality.”
Disclosure can mean freedom and hiding can symbolize cowardice. But if we know the right information not to be dwelled on, especially of incapacitated parties, then we are practicing our own safety measures and leveraging data protection and even human protection.
“Be consistent in your good doings.”
Keeping an activity in its routine will help you live your life easier. Not only that; it saves people from having second thoughts and doubts about you. It takes consistency to garner assurance. Consistency enacts a habit where there is stable goodness—if that is your virtue—in whatever activity you engage in. We do not want to deal with something that keeps on changing. We want to have a secure stake where we do not have to fear what the next day might have in store for us.
“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”
Truth be told, vengeance is not ours. However, when one’s pain was caused by a strike that forcefully pierced through the heart, it is justifiable to make the other person learn by giving him or her more than what he or she has offered. It is a grueling scenario, but if what has been thrown is already hard, then the karma will be even harder.
“Do not rely on aesthetics.”
Your appearance can only take you nationally, but it does not take you to other parts of the world. There is more to life than a guarantee of physical attraction. To be attracted through deeper means eradicates superficiality that this world breathes in. There are more important factors to consider in order to be fully satisfied with one’s body. There is an attitude, a personality and a maturity we look for in order to say, “I have settled on you.”
“Change takes time.”
One cannot simply say “I have changed” right after choosing to change. It revolves around a series of attempts, which then gradually become habits. These habits will testify to the change one claims. Without this formation, one cannot simply arrive at a conclusion of significant transformation from the past. “I have had this change for a couple of months now…” seems positive, but we cannot decipher the length of time for that matter being subjective. Only the person who is sincere enough to change will realize that, and the persons concerned must be able to witness such in order to attest to the claim.